Feminist Therapy
Women's lives are complex. Enough never seems to be a word in our
vocabulary, certainly not in other people's expectations of us. As we reach
for our dreams and our goals, we encounter many obstacles; obstacles that
are arise because of our gender. Everyone else's needs come before our own.
This is expected of us. We are supposed to be the world's caretakers, mothers,
super-women, better at everything if we are to get half the credit we deserve.
Our bodies are seen as expendable, messy, sexual, and maternal. They are
defined by their use for men and society, lastly for ourselves. We are defined
by what we are not, not who we are. Thus, having a place to go where
these social expectations and roles upon us can be examined, understood
within a larger context, we can grow stronger and find our place in the
world. In addition, our relationships can improve dramatically when our
partners (male & Female) understand the impact sexism has upon a relationship.
Sexism hurts everyone, not just women. It makes all of us unhappy.
In feminist therapy, the idea is NOT about blaming males for the problems of women. There is nothing helpful in doing this. The goal is to help both men and women learn about and explore the impact that systemic sexism, social roles of gender, and expectations placed upon us due to our gender have on us as individuals, couples, families and in the larger social context. It is an empowering form of therapy aimed at helping women gain an understanding about the impact gender has on our lives, how to define our lives according to our terms, to become truer to who we are as individuals, couples and families. Feminist therapy is not about alienating men or blaming men for the problems women experience. This is a common misconception. It deals with understanding a social system that is oppressive to women, that directly impacts women's lives on every level.
If you are a woman of
color, a lesbian or transgendered women, you have triple the conflicting social role
and expectations to endure.
Do you prioritize your gender, your ethnicity, or your sexuality? Your alliances
are pulled, you have to be ten times more of everything for basic recognition.
And social demands of your very being, your body, and your spirit are assaulted.
Many people of color experience a feeling of alienation from society. They
experience a feeling of trying to belong to conflicting worlds, but never really
belonging in one or the other. This experience is more noticeable, the further
away from the idealized image of the white, well-to-do, independent male you
are, or how far away you are from the idealized socially defined role of female.
Is this you? If not, you don't fit the ideal man or woman!
Don't worry if you are not, none of us are - that's the point!!!
The far reaching consequences
of systemic sexism have a huge impact on women's overall development.
Often times we experience social consequences that are subtle (or not
so subtle!) and confusing. We don't typically understand why we are not
as well received in business, are
expected to mother our male counterparts,
accept being ignored, shut up, and shut
out. Strong assertiveness is met with hostility, fear and intimidation
or aggression. Women who are aggressive about business are considered
crazy, bitchy, and pushy, not nice to work with; while men who are aggressive
are go-getters, going places, and leaders. Our careers are deemed less
worthy, we are expected to settle for less, and women-dominated careers
are economically seen as less valuable. This reality is reflected in the
limited amount of pay we are able to earn in the female dominated fields.
The impact of sexism reaches
into the very depths of our souls at every level. We have come to expect
the constant invalidation of our very existence as normal. Trying to cross
the invisible walls have consequences that are often confusing and hurtful.
And there are a lot of forces that oppose us when we 
attempt
to "break the mold." We receive these consequences from both
men and women. The enforcement of our role comes from everywhere, not
just the men in our lives. The use of male power, rape, the threat of
assault, and violence against women are the most powerful tools of gender
reinforcement that society uses to help keep us down. Think about how
many times women are taught to be afraid of the dark, be afraid of the
lurking stranger. Be afraid of the man walking down the street.... I know
I am always aware of the men around me. We are warned to be constantly
vigilant for our safety. This experience of constant fear is not shared
by men. They do not live in constant fear of the stranger who is hiding
in the shadows waiting for the opportunity to rape them. It is a foreign
experience for them. Do you fear the lurking stranger? In reality, girls
and women have more to fear from their own boyfriends, husbands, fathers,
uncles, brothers, lovers and male friends. Crimes against women are usually
committed by a friend, neighbor of family member! Its not so much a case
of the butler did it, but the boyfriend or husband! Your most intimate
partner. This is also true for lesbians. Your intimate partner may be
the one to fear more than anyone else!
Did you know that even our healthcare is completely impaired by sexism? Women are viewed as chronic complainers. We utilize the healthcare system far more than men, but our concerns and symptoms are taken far less seriously, even when the reality of our complaints involve more serious problems.
Women's bodies are more complex and we require more
healthcare overall, yet our concerns are not taken
as seriously. What is normal in medical terms is the male physiology and
anatomy. When a doctor goes to medical school, he/she studies disease processes
in
mens' bodies, yet most diseases impact womens' bodies differently than mens'. The only time
doctors learn about women's physiology is when they
are studying about female reproductive processes. Yet a woman's anatomy and
physiology is very different than a man's. Her entire system of hormones is
completely influenced by female hormones, which influence all aspects of a
woman's body function. This is a generalization of
course, but the vast majority of doctors are not well trained in the multitude of differences that
exist between men and women's bodies, and the difference in how diseases impact
men and women's bodies. The different hormones in our bodies cause tremendous
differences in our healthcare needs and medical problems, yet when your doctor
looks at you, these basic differences are not taken into account. The reality of
this has huge consequences for women.
An example of this is seen
in just the general care of women's hearts. If I were to ask you, what are the
symptoms of a heart attack in women, what would you say? Crushing chest pain,
pain down your left arm, shortness of breath, sweating, and a sense of doom
right? These are well-known symptoms of your heart in trouble. But guess what -
these are NOT the symptoms women typically experience! These are what men experience! Yet
women are just as likely to have heart disease and require care for their
hearts. The closer you get to menopause, the higher risk your heart becomes as
your natural production of estrogen declines. Estrogen is a major protector of
your heart! In fact, heart disease is THE NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN OVER 40!
More women die of heart disease by far than women who die of breast cancer.
Yet, women have been EXCLUDED from every major study of heart disease prevention,
diagnosis and treatment with just a few exceptions (Dr. Elizabeth Lee Vliet,
2001).
So what do we experience? Women experience "silent angina" that may feel like heartburn, a tightness or heaviness in your chest; women often mistake a heart attack as indigestion. Women will have some shortness of breath, but not nearly to the extent that men do. It is also common to have pain behind your heart in your back, but it won't feel crushing and will NOT radiate down your left arm and up the side of your neck.
In
addition, if you go to the emergency room and complain of chest pains... beware,
the doctor may not evaluate your heart! The doctor may say you have anxiety, too
much stress or have only had a panic attack - the most common MISDIAGNOSES of
heart attacks in women! As a result, more women die of their first heart attack
than men because a man who presents with the exact same symptoms will be kept in
the hospital overnight and be monitored for cardiac problems. And, to make
matters worse, if the doctors do discover you are having a cardiac problem, you
are far less likely to be treated aggressively with medication and diet
recommendations than your male counterparts! (Dr. Elizabeth Lee Vliet, 2001).
How is that for scary! Does this mean that doctors like men better? No! Of
course not! Doctors sincerely want to help you! But this is a classic example of
the serious impact of sexist practices and lack of applied knowledge in the
healthcare system. If your doctor wasn't taught about it, how can the doctor
treat you right?
Even understanding your hormones is asking too much of our current medical establishment. Female hormones impact your heart, brain chemistry, blood pressure regulation, moods, motivation, sex drive, blood sugar, etc. They impact every part of your body. Yet doctors do not consider the necessity to care for your hormones a priority. They are not trained to properly manage them when something goes wrong. Many women suffer as a result for most of their lives with hormone imbalances that impact their entire body systems. Hormone imbalances can cause problems with your blood sugar, blood pressure, heart, digestive system, moods, brain chemistry, etc. Warning signs of a hormone imbalance are typically not even treated, or if they are, they are treated by creating further imbalance of your hormones. For example, PMS, perimenopausal symptoms, changes in your period, depression, heart palpitations or flutters, weight gain, problems with blood sugar, male growth patterns (facial hair, chest hair, line of hair down your stomach to pubis), short-term memory problems, trouble recalling words, - all are signs that something hormonal may be happening. Your doctor is more likely to treat hormone imbalance problems with birth control pills, which worsen hormonal problems (and have serious health consequences for women that are minimized by doctors), or with surgery - which never addresses the hormonal imbalance and can severely worsen the hormonal imbalances! And when you express changes as a result of the medications or surgery, the doctor will tell you it isn't the medication or surgery - when it really is! (Dr. Elizabeth Lee Vliet, 2001)
Did you know that there is
not a doctor who specializes in regulating women's hormones? Your gynecologist
specializes in anatomical problems, not chemical ones. An endocrinologist,
who is responsible for our bodies hormones (chemistry), doesn't deal with female hormone
problems - they'll refer you to the gynecologist. The mood problems that arise
with hormone imbalances will be treated by a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist won't
treat your hormone imbalance, just work with the moodiness - the fluctuations
that happen in your body because you are female won't be accommodated for either.
Your depression will be treated as though your mind was a male brain. Isn't that crazy!
And yet women with hormone imbalances can develop serious chronic health
problems, such as heart disease, diabetes, chronic fatigue syndrome, major
allergies, serious gynecological problems, and
problems with cholesterol and high blood pressure! The consequences of this
disconnection with women's bodies have serious consequences for our health and
lives!
Understanding what is happening around you can help you make more informed choices, that will, in turn, better enable you to overcome the obstacles. Having your general sense of inequity validated by real information has a freeing impact on your psyche. It affords you opportunities and the ability to stop blaming yourself for the confusion. For example, how many times, as a woman, have you wondered why men interrupt you when you are talking? Men and women don't listen to women in the same way as they listen to men. You could say the exact same thing as a man, word for word, and both men and women are more likely to take what a man says more seriously than if a woman says it. This varies with race and culture.
I have been trained in
understanding the impact of systemic sexism that impacts women's daily lives. I
can help illuminate these issues that are coming up in your life. I can point
you in the right
direction
if you are having problems with your hormones, menopause or other female body
problems. I am not a doctor, but I have a good understanding in how your
hormones can cause problems in your body and in your spirit, thus if you need
someone who can help treat these problems, I can refer you. I can help you
learn more about how to protect your health and find the right doctors who will
team up with you to do
the same, or help you look at ways to communicate these concerns with your
current healthcare providers. In addition, you can have the opportunity of relating to someone who will
not use the same oppressive expectations of you, providing you with a different
experience that will enable you to become more open and aware of your own
potentials and the creative forces within you. Both men and women benefit
tremendously from these insights.
Ovaries and Hormones - What EVERY Women Should Know
"Its My Ovaries Stupid!," by Dr. Elizabeth Lee Vliet, MD, Neuro-Endocrinologist. I would recommend this book to every female and every parent who has a female child. The information contained in this book is vital to the health of all girls and women.
"Screaming to be Heard: Hormone Connections Women Suspect and Doctors Still Ignore," and "Women, Weight, and Hormones," by Dr. Elizabeth Lee Vliet, MD, Neuro-Endocrinologist - she and her clinic have done tremendous research on women and are working towards making changes in the healthcare system to improve women's healthcare. She is the founder of HERS Place.
"The Schwarzbein Principle," (both I and II) by Dr. Diana Schwarzbein, MD, Endocrinologist specializing in women's health.
Hysterectomies & Alternative Treatments
"Hysterectomy and Ovary Removal" by Elizabeth Plourde, CIS, MA. Read this before ever having a hysterectomy. The majority of hysterectomies in this country are unnecessary and cause tremendous harm to your body! Your gonads and uterus are necessary organs for your entire body. They are NOT just for reproduction. By the way, do you know the name for removing your ovaries in men? Yes, they have organs that are similar to ovaries.... Removing your ovaries - having an oophorectomy - is called CASTRATION in men! An oophorectomy is FEMALE CASTRATION! This is how serious it is. Not something to take lightly. It impacts everything and puts your health at serious risk!
"No More Hysterectomies!" by Dr. Vicki Hufnagel, MD, OB/GYN
"Saving the Whole Woman," by Dr. Christine Kent, BSN, RN
Natural Hormone Replacement for Peri-Menopause and Menopause
- See all Books by Dr. Elizabeth Lee Vliet top section.
"Sudden Menopause," By Debbie DeAngelo, RNC, BSN - book on sudden menopause and surgical menopause. A one of a kind.
"The Sexy Years," By Susan Summers, actress
"Natural Hormone Replacement," by Dr. Jonathan V. Wright, MD and John Morgenthaler - Dr. Wright developed the drugs Tri-Est and Bi-Est, bioidentical forms of estrogen.
"Natural Hormone Balance for Women," By Dr. Uzzi Reiss, MD, OB/GYN and Martin Zucker - excellent resource on using natural hormones.
"A Woman's Guide to Natural Hormones" by Christine Conrad, Founder of the Natural Woman Institute.